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Everyone can join

These are sincere thoughts - I really wonder! Can everyone join? Or: does everyone have to join?

"Everyone gets to participate" we have probably all heard, in different contexts. At school when we ourselves were small and maybe by our little ones when they come home and sensibly point out "everyone can join". They have learned it and perhaps it is put into context by an educator/teacher so that the children grasp the importance of inclusion. Nice like that.

But.. what does that mean?

From what I hear, it seems that most preschools/schools (perhaps especially primary schools) include the expression (or similar) in (kind of) well-being rules they have jointly designed. On paper, of course, it looks very good, but something rubs. In a school where more and more work is part of the teaching profession, where time to see each child/individual is often not available, it is perhaps necessary to lean against these rules. It's easy to say in the heat of the moment, "Everyone can join, you know that!" when there is no time to review the situation that has arisen. (In other words: it's not the teachers' fault!)

But what do you do, in reality, when a child intrudes and always has to be included even though the rest of the friend group becomes uncomfortable in his company? She doesn't make any visible "mistakes" (that is, what adults see), but for the others it feels difficult. In such situations, "Everyone can join in!" is often used. because no one has time for every unique situation. Are we really teaching the children about relationships (both those who don't like the situation and the one who seems to be intruding) by leaving them with a bunch of nice words..?

There are a thousand different examples where I think that the nice thing you basically wanted to teach the children with "Everyone can join" disappears because the sentence is used without nuance or casually. There is no time to do it any other way (and a lot of politicians want to reduce that time even further..)

I have no answers at all. Of course everyone should be able to participate! But everyone must also be seen and enjoy themselves. Those parts are not always compatible.

(And if time doesn't exist in the current system, we might as well change the system!)