Gränser

Boundaries

Poof. Then it was December.

I always have wise thoughts before Christmas really gets going. A few, well-thought-out Christmas gifts for the children. NO Christmas presents (unless it's like homemade jam) for the adults. Don't stress. Say no to anything that doesn't make you feel good. Stay at home if you feel like it. Etc ad infinitum.

Yet the opposite often happens. At least almost. "I haven't had time, stress buying (=will be expensive), oh we have to give something to so and so and so...and we'll probably have to go for those things anyway so no one gets disappointed" Etc. Etc..

There is of course a psychological explanation for why we do this - and also repeat the same behavior year after year. But now we ignore it and just put it off, I think.

Do as you want. Decide yourself. Show the children that as adults you can not only eat sweets for dinner if you feel like it, you can also: "dislike" (=dislike) an old relative (but maybe you shouldn't say something stupid unless you absolutely have to), Christmas decorations as (or if) you want, say really angry stop if someone at the Christmas table makes racist comments (it's also really okay to stop talking to that person). You get things like that. And for the children's sake: you have to. Because we want to show them healthy boundaries, right? That they should trust their gut feeling. Walk when it feels wrong. It is just THAT important.

December first. Now we're all practicing for a Christmas that doesn't mean we run over ourselves for lots of reasons we can't even remember! (And I also do a lot of fun because I have children - for their sake. It's actually quite possible to continue with it without ending the coup myself. So we'll stop with that excuse now, I think).