Feelings explained

Every card in the Me in Me deck shows one feeling. Here are all 21 — written so you can read them aloud to your child, or read them yourself before you sit down together. For each feeling: what it is, how it feels in the body, and an example from an ordinary day.

The questions on the cards were developed by Ida Welbourn, a Swedish-licensed psychologist and psychotherapist with 29 years of clinical experience.

There are no right answers. If your child describes a feeling differently from what is written here, your child's description is the one that counts. These words are for you, the grown-up, when you need somewhere to start.

The 21 feelings

Happy

Happy is when something feels good inside and the smile arrives on its own.

In the body: light in the chest, fizzy legs, hard to sit still.
For example: when you catch sight of someone you love.

Sad

Sad is when something hurts even though nothing shows on the outside.

In the body: heavy in the chest, a lump in the throat, tears that come without you deciding.
For example: when someone says something unkind, or when something you love breaks.

Angry

Angry is when something feels unfair and your body wants to do something about it right now.

In the body: hot in the face, hard hands, a loud voice.
For example: when someone takes your thing without asking.

Afraid

Afraid is when you don't know what is about to happen, and your body gets ready.

In the body: heart beating fast, a tight tummy, wanting a grown-up close.
For example: in the dark, or when a sound is sudden and loud.

Safe

Safe is when you know someone will still be there, even if something happens.

In the body: calm breathing, soft shoulders, enough room to be curious.
For example: in the arms of someone you trust, or in your own bed.

Curious

Curious is when you want to know more and can't stop looking.

In the body: leaning forward, wide eyes, forgetting the time.
For example: when someone opens a drawer you have never seen inside.

Proud

Proud is when you managed something yourself and feel it all the way to your fingers.

In the body: straight back, chin up, a smile that comes from inside.
For example: the first time you did up your own coat.

In love

In love is when someone makes you extra happy just by existing, and being near them tingles.

In the body: butterflies in the tummy, warm cheeks, words running out.
For example: when you want to sit beside the same person all the time.

Surprised

Surprised is when something happens that you were not expecting at all.

In the body: you jump, eyebrows go up, mouth opens.
For example: when someone hides behind the door and says boo.

Determined

Determined is when you know what you want and hold on to it.

In the body: steady feet, a firm voice, eyes straight ahead.
For example: when you say no and mean no.

Wild

Wild is when your body is full of power that has to come out.

In the body: running legs, a loud voice, hard to stop.
For example: when you tear around the room laughing and nearly knock the lamp over.

Lonely

Lonely is when you miss having someone to be with, or feel that nobody really understands.

In the body: empty in the chest, quiet all around, wanting and not wanting to be seen at the same time.
For example: when everyone else is playing and you are standing beside them.

Left out

Left out is when the others are together and you are not part of it.

In the body: a sinking feeling, eyes to the floor, pretending it doesn't matter.
For example: when two friends are whispering and stop when you come over.

Disappointed

Disappointed is when something did not turn out the way you hoped.

In the body: shoulders drop, energy goes, everything looks a bit grey.
For example: when the trip is called off in the morning.

Stressed

Stressed is when there is too much at once and not enough time.

In the body: heart beating fast, thoughts racing, everything feels urgent.
For example: when you have to get to nursery and your shoes won't go on.

Jealous

Jealous is when you are afraid someone you love will love someone else more than you.

In the body: a pinch in the tummy, wanting to hold on, getting angry without knowing why.
For example: when mum is on the sofa with your little sister.

Envious

Envious is when someone else has something you want too.

In the body: a sour tummy, hard to be glad for them.
For example: when your friend got the bike you had wished for.

Shame

Shame is when it feels as if something is wrong with you — not just with what you did.

In the body: hot in the face, wanting to be small, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes.
For example: when you did something you regret and someone else saw it.

Disgust

Disgust is your body saying yuck: away, not in my mouth.

In the body: nose wrinkles, tummy turns, you pull back.
For example: when something smells bad or feels slimy.

Loathing

Loathing is a stronger no than disgust. Not just yuck — I want nothing to do with this.

In the body: your whole body turns away, not just your nose.
For example: when someone is cruel to someone else and it feels wrong all the way down.

Me

Me is who you are. The one who feels all the other feelings — and who stays the same you, whichever feeling is visiting.

In the body: everywhere. You are where the feelings live.
For example: you are the same you when you are happy as when you are angry.

Want to talk about them at home?

Me in Me is a card deck for children from age 3: 21 A6 cards, one per feeling, with questions on the back. See Me in Me or see all the decks.