For many parents, it is a daily challenge to get their children to open up and talk about school. A common attempt to break the ice is to ask, “How was school today?” But most often you are met with a one-syllable answer like “good” or even a simple “okay.” It is important to understand that this is common and that children can have difficulty expressing their feelings and experiences. In this post, we will explore some strategies to help your child talk about school and at the same time counteract mental illness.
Why is it difficult to get children to talk about school?
Before we move on to the tips, it is important to understand why children may be reluctant to talk about school. There are several reasons for this and many of them are of course individual. There can also be a big difference in what may have happened during the day that affects the willingness to share and talk about school. Sometimes loyalty and friendships can get in the way of wanting to tell stories. In short, a lot can depend on how you feel that day!
School can be a complex social environment, and children may feel uncomfortable discussing it with their parents. They may be afraid to disclose social problems or conflicts.
Fear of being judged
Children may feel afraid of being criticized or judged if they share their experiences at school. They may worry that their parents will be disappointed if they have had difficulties at school.
Shyness or social pressure
School can be a complex social environment, and children may feel uncomfortable discussing it with their parents. They may be afraid to disclose social problems or conflicts.
Difficulty expressing oneself
Many children have not yet developed the verbal ability to describe their feelings and experiences in depth. They may feel limited by their vocabulary and ability to express themselves.
Mental illness
School can be a complex social environment, and children may feel uncomfortable discussing it with their parents. They may be afraid to disclose social problems or conflicts.
Now that we understand why it can be difficult for children to talk about school, let's take a look at some strategies that can help you get your child to open up and, in the long run, provide good conditions for their mental health.
How can you help your child talk about school?
Now that we understand why it can be difficult for children to talk about school, let's take a look at some strategies that can help you get your child to open up and, in the long run, provide good conditions for their mental health.
Create an open and supportive environment
To help your child talk about school, it is important to create an open and supportive environment where they feel safe. This means that you as a parent need to be responsive and empathetic when your child shares their thoughts and feelings. Avoid judging or criticizing their experiences. By showing understanding and support, your child will feel more likely to open up.
Use open-ended questions
Instead of using the standard question, "How was school today?", you can use more open-ended questions that encourage deeper conversations. For example:
"What was the best thing that happened at school today?"
"Is there anything you found particularly funny today?"
"Have you had any challenges at school recently?"
Open-ended questions give your child more room to express themselves and can lead to more meaningful conversations. By asking such questions, you are inviting your child to share more about their experiences.
Avoid judging or criticizing their experiences. By showing understanding and support, your child will feel more likely to open up and talk about school.
Show interest in the school and its activities
By showing interest in your child's schoolwork and extracurricular activities, you show that you care about their experiences. Attend school meetings, help with homework, and get involved in their interests. By being actively involved in their school experience, you show that you value their education and that you are there to support them.
Help manage stress and mental health
If you suspect your child may be suffering from a mental health issue, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Mental health issues can be a significant factor in a child’s ability to talk about school. It’s important to support your child’s mental health and offer support and understanding. A therapist or counselor can be a valuable resource in helping your child deal with their feelings and challenges.
Understand that time is important
It can take time to build the trust needed for your child to talk openly about school. Be patient and continue to offer opportunities for conversation. Sometimes your child needs time to process their feelings and experiences before they are ready to share. Be there for them and show that you are patient and ready to listen when they feel ready to talk.
Remember that every child is unique, and it is important to adapt your approach to their personality. Every child is unique, and your way of communicating is unique too.
