Schemalagda känslor

Scheduled feelings

Don't scream, it wasn't that dangerous! Surely there is nothing to get angry with. What is the matter now?!Most of what we have taught children about anger has been about removing it. Press it away and preferably replace it with another (opposite) feeling.We know better now. It is spoken in lots of different directions to accept the feelings that come and be in them. Allow them.Of course, it's great. But as in so much else about children, there is also something that contradicts the fine image of acceptance. Because in some way we still want to push in those feelings where we think they belong. Feel free to feel, but not now, not here. Type.Anger still does not fit into our lives. Who has time to stand and beautifully accept a giant five year old in the hall at seven in the morning?We talk about feeling but want to package the emotions in small packages to produce on appropriate occasions. We want them, but preferably scheduled.

In the past, they often used (re) words like "kind" about newborns. “They sleep so well - a kind baby ”. They probably meant more "docile" and "compassionate" but applied a good feature to it - which also gave life to an opposite exists (although it may not be said high). Type stupid. (And stupid is never desirable ..)

Even the word good has been used a lot in a similar way. In situations where neither parent nor children have been able to influence the situation, people stamp children with a valuing word that implies that there is an opposite - something badly

This sits hard. Although we actually understand the importance of knowing all the emotions, grips that babies are not "kind" if they happen to sleep all night and realize that "good" is a word that in many cases limits more than it lifts. different extent) continue in the same spirit as previous generations. We (maybe) ourselves are raised so and it is convenient. It fits our lifestyle.

Such a confusing time we live in, it can feel like. So I end this week's text with a couple of questions: Can we live the fully booked lives many live today and at the same time let the children explore all emotions? Is it required too much of us - is it possible to have both worlds or does the modern lifestyle require that the children (to some extent) "join"?