Be happy!

Be happy!

Now we're going to be happy!

Do you recognize it? A fast (albeit slightly strained ..) exclamation of a surely often well -meaning adult who does not cope with everyone's different feelings and demands anymore. An excursion is planned and it would be fun !!! (Most of us may recognize it both from the child's perspective, ie our own childhood and from ourselves as adults - probably we have stood there sometime and only felt "gaaaah! Be happy now for in ……!")

And no, this particular example may not be so dangerous. This does not mean that we are not recognizable, accept and listen to our children's feelings otherwise. The children will probably not push their feelings in life based solely on the fact that an adult sometimes does not fix a thousand wishes, wills and feelings at the same time when something they spent time planning becomes chaos.

But if we only use the above little examples as an offspring - it is interesting to think about our need to connect events with a specific feeling. When we actually know that it is more multifaceted than that.For example, most people do not describe grief as only very sad feelings around the clock. Without more like shades of lots of different emotions (many of them of course very heavy).Having children is strongly linked to "Hurray this was the best thing in life and now we are in a Happy-Happy bubble for at least a year" feelings. (Rarely exact reality huh ..?)A move we have longed for to death can at the same time create a lot of sadness - we dismiss something. Not even necessarily something good - but part of life that meant something.

The only thing I really want to say is: strong emotions rarely come themselves. Strong joy does not often go hand in hand with, for example, sadness/sadness/and more ..Life consists of shades and there we can probably all think a little about stopping expecting what others should feel.