We all own the right to our own history and are free to write it as we please. It sounds like a matter of course and is probably something most people would agree with, but what does it really mean?How easy is it to feel what is right and wrong, where exactly my boundaries go and which path is mine in a world full of touch sticks and information?
As difficult as it is to find their place in the world, it may be to become a parent. Being thrown into something that is more about who you and the child are than to read the right books to enter into an outstanding role changes life in a thousand ways you could never have imagined.There is a picture of who to be before you become a parent. Finished, somehow. Like a feeling suddenly appearing - “now can I ”or“ now get I". Of course, that picture is quite far from the truth and maybe it means that today we have lost some of the belief in ourselves - the belief that we actually manage parenting with just the tools we already have. Ourselves and (almost always) the will to do well.
Reading on, talking to others, trying to understand or seek help and support is never something bad, but in a world where performance often weighs heavier than emotion, the most important thing can sometimes be obscured by the belief in something outside ourselves. The belief that someone else will solve our situation, come up with the right answers or show the way.
But do we really need to strive to become experts?
Becoming a parent is to become a new person. Or at least a new version of who you are. There we probably all stand alike. To navigate in the infinite plethora of different ways of doing it, which in this society is almost forced on us and at the same time dare to believe in our own ability..way, of course, is a impossible task.Perhaps it is in the acceptance of what you can find your role. You can't be everything and it is allowed and very human to feel. Grow together with the child without demand for performance. Exist and with small tools find the way. Say stop and admit what does not work for me and by daring to know the boundaries also show the child that they are entitled to their own history, to pronounce what feels without someone approving and with that learning - who am I and what Are we.
