We all own the right to our own history and are free to write it however we want. It sounds obvious and is probably something most people would agree with, but what does it really mean? How easy is it to know what is right and wrong, where exactly my boundaries are and which path is mine in a world full of pointers and information?
As difficult as it is to find your place in the world, it can be to become a parent. Being thrown into something that is more about who you and the child are than reading the right books to step into a designated role changes life in a thousand ways you could never have imagined. There is an image of who you should be before you become a parent. Done, somehow. As if a feeling suddenly appears - "now I can" or "now I can". That picture is of course quite far from the truth and perhaps it means that today we have lost a bit of faith in ourselves - the faith that we can actually cope with parenthood with the very tools we already have. Ourselves and (almost always) the will to do well.
Reading, talking to others, trying to understand or seeking help and support is never a bad thing, but in a world where performance often weighs more heavily than feeling, the most important thing can sometimes be obscured by the belief in something outside of ourselves. The belief that someone else will solve our situation, come up with the right answers or show the way.
But do we really need to strive to become experts?
Becoming a parent is becoming a new person. Or at least a new version of who you are. We are probably all equal there. To navigate in the endless multitude of different ways of doing it that in this society is almost forced on us and at the same time dare to believe in our own ability..is of course a close to impossible task. Perhaps it is in the acceptance of it that one can find one's role. You can't be everything and it is allowed and very human to feel yourself. Grow together with the child without performance requirements. Exist and find the way with small tools. Say stop and admit what doesn't work for me and by daring to feel those limits also show the child that she has the right to her own story, to say what she feels without anyone approving and with that learn - who am I and who are we.
