For many, summer is a time of anticipation. Regardless of whether holiday trips and fun excursions, weeks in the summer cottage or a visit to the beach are planned - many of us parents feel pressure to make it as good as possible. Memories are to be created and we are the directors.
At the same time, we know that it doesn't work that way at all. A long-awaited trip abroad can be the worst disaster and a spontaneous bath in the town's splash pool a memory for life. Because of course our (adult, often corrected) feelings sometimes clash completely with the children's in situations where we think all the ingredients for a great day are there - but it ends up with everyone just screaming and crying. Isn't that what the script looked like?!
I think we can learn a lot if we take a moment to look at our own reactions to different situations. We may not react with the same emotional expression as the children, but can probably recognize ourselves in the basic feeling itself.
A classic situation is that a super fun day has been spent somewhere but it ends in some kind of chaos. The children scream and the adults go a little crazy because "Can't you be a little grateful sometime?! Then we can never do something like this again, you don't seem to think it's fun at all!” Surely many of us have been right there? If not only joy is shown, we wonder (loudly or bitterly to ourselves..) how on earth we have been able to raise such spoiled children..
But if we step back a little and look at ourselves - doesn't it happen that we feel, for example, disappointment when something we've been looking forward to ends? We may be able to keep our emotions in check, but you can probably feel a little sad. We've had so much fun.. and suddenly it ended.. It has nothing to do with gratitude for what we've experienced doing. The vast majority of adults know this, but our image of "the perfect (directed...) day" may be so strong that it clashes with that common sense. (You don't see sad endings on Instagram).
Are you good at confirming the children's feelings when things like this happen? Do you find peace to see why in these situations or are you drawn into the chaos and become part of it? Why do you think you react the way you do?
