How do you talk to children?

The headline certainly sounds a bit awkward - nothing we walk around thinking right away. How do you talk to children?

We humans talk and communicate all the time and often there is probably no thought behind how it happens. But how we communicate - whether we are good at it or not (etc.) depends on different things. How we grew up, how our adults communicated with us, what feeling we have for it and in this way: how well we master communication. As with everything else.

"Communication is thus crucial to our survival, but we also learn to communicate well and make ourselves understood increases the chance of fine and functioning relationships throughout life."

How does my child think?

Communication is something that happens on a lot of plans or ways, often at the same time. What do we say, what do we do, what do we do not, what do we radiate, what does our mine play, our eyes, our body language say? And much more..

We compare children with each other by how well they talk, but the child's communication ability does not always follow the linguistic ability so the concern many feel when the child does not talk when it is expected can be unjust. The little baby and the little child communicate in so many different ways - without using a single word. Had we not understood wordless communication, man would not have survived.

Communication is thus crucial to our survival, but we also learn to communicate well and make ourselves understood increases the chance of fine and functioning relationships throughout life. Without good relationships (including the one we have with ourselves) it is difficult to feel good.

That being said, it becomes almost superfluous to write: functioning communication is the key to a good life.

Tips on things that can stimulate the child's linguistic and communicative ability:

  • Talk a lot. Children need to talk to adults they are close. You as a close adult to a child are extremely important for the child's language development. Linguistic stimulation - talking a lot, helps the child find the language himself. Put words and talk about what you and the child do - so the child learns many new words. Simple (perhaps sometimes seemingly "meaningless" sentences) that "Now we put on our jacket" while taking on the jacket is important for children's language development.

  • Listen just as much. Listening and showing that you are listening is at least as important as everyday talk. Show interest and be present as often as you can when the child talks and parts.
  • Children learn through play. Sometimes adults mistaken to be separated, an exception to the important thing in life. But the fact is that the game is crucial in children's development and young children (even older) often learn most through the game. Here, communication plays a great deal - in role play and in the conflicts that arise we learn to communicate and interact with each other. Overall, the game is something that should be most of the child's day.
  • Don't correct. But don't be afraid to say right yourself. Accept how the child speaks, even if it is not quite right (which of course is not at first!) Says the child for example "also OVA" (doll sleep) you can say "yes the doll sleeps (in his bed)". Then you show that you have understood what the child says (but you do not correct). You are a kind of linguistic role model without placing any valuation whatsoever in how the child talks.

  • Read and tell. Reading for the child is good for language development. Looking at pictures and telling yourself also works well. Encourage the child to join and fill in, fantasize and tell. Creating their own fairy tale or taking part in a story stimulates the language as well as the ability to communicate - for example by getting into different roles.

  • Set aside time to turn off. Turn off everything sometimes (phones, screens etc). It is easy to believe that phones and other things do not affect so much but try to actually remove them actively sometimes and see if it creates other conditions for talk, play and communication.

Talk to children about death?

Through the simple, everyday we learn. If we start early, to listen to the little child's way of communicating and in that child in different ways, we create greater opportunities for them to grow up and form good, safe relationships and dare to tell when something feels wrong. Whole life. The big conversations, such as talking to children about death (or whatever it is) is so much closer at hand when the "small" conversations in everyday life are a matter of course. When we learn to talk about everything, or that everything is okay to talk about, what seems difficult to get easier.

Children do not do as we say, children do as we do.

We really know, right? Still, we stand there, sometimes more often than we want, and try to "knock" wisdom in the children with specific words and important voice. Then most of it comes myself. "Give the children love, more love and even more love, then the people of itself will come "as Astrid Lindgren said. And of course it is! But practicing communicating and actively making choices to open children's channels for better communication is still a pretty good idea in a world where it is probably not easy to make yourself heard and be who you are. And besides - we create little people (who then grow up!) Who become experts in communication, empathy and relationships, we create as well as the conditions for a whole new world, right? Even if that idea feels utopian, it is worth trying to think! I mean, do we really have something better for us - what can be more important than just that?


With summer and time to fill too many families with children, we can invest a little extra on that with communication. Expert I do not know if anyone can be titled but damn good at emotions and to communicate you can definitely be with the help of for example Emotional card! Have you tested?