Johan about divorce, to have a close relationship with his child during life's most hectic years.
Johan Lindeberg has, among other things, been international marketing manager for Diesel, created successful brands such as J. Lindeberg and BLK DNM and worked as a photographer based in New York. And now Johan is developing a new brand called Jay3lle.
Together with his ex Mrs. Marcella, he has his daughter Blue to which he has a very close father's daughter relationship. We have met Johan in his house outside Torekov and talked about being a father and how to keep a close relationship with your child after the divorce when building successful companies, that is, during the most hectic year of life.
“Everything is about getting the unique in each individual. I think parents are generally too bad at that ”.
Hi johan! How are you today?
Today I am happy. Really from the inside. I have found my platform to treat myself, something I searched for a long time. When it feels natural, it feels good.
If you follow you on Instagram then it is not difficult to see that you have a very close relationship with your daughter Blue, do you want to tell us a little about it?
We have always had a very close relationship. I have always been very involved as a father. Her mother needed to sleep at night when she arrived, but I was always awake. I always drove her to school, and we talked a lot about life thoughts and ideas. I have always been very open with her, and it has meant that she can also be. Then you can always think about how open you can be with your child.
How do you mean?
Many people wonder how I affected her and how she is today, and of course I have it. However, I found a way where I could be personal and open without it getting too much of my anxiety on her. For example, I was always afraid to fly in the past, but when we flew together I was always strong with her. I think I tried to navigate that balance with how open you can still be the adult. But the reason is that we have always been open and honest when she was growing up.
“We have talked about it and be involved and be committed, but that does not mean that you should take all the attention. It is not natural self -confidence to take all space all the time. She is perceived as very humble and I am happy about that. I have always been told that I am not perceived as humble. "
And during her teens and now when she is an adult, the openness is related?
Yes, now today that she says she is not taking drugs, I know she doesn't. We have the relationship that she says it is honest. Then we have traveled a lot together, both when she was little and now when she is an adult which brought us incredibly close. She was with me in Nepal when I photographed for a foundation a week after Denkatastrophal earthquake there. It was an intense experience that got us even closer together. We have driven from Paris to Dakar together. An incredible journey that really got us closer. She learned a lot there too, from human rights to psychology.
If you compare with your own upbringing, how do you think Blues upbringing has been?
When I grew up in Lund, there was a lot that was about changing the world. I wanted to give that to Blue too. She has grown up in a Style Office. Blue has learned a lot from spending time with different characters and people from my teams who have always been very mixed. It's a lot of New York, and she's very New York. It is a freer upbringing.
However, the openness I have received from my parents, and Lund was also a very open environment. Lund is in a way like a small mini New York where there are mixed environments and people.
How has this openness affected her do you think?
She says herself that I always said to go in and express yourself. I always felt that inhibited when I was a child. Like I walked around playing role play. I had really nice parents and family, but they didn't understand my anxiety. I have been thinking about that a lot. I think it is the difference between the one you want to be and who you are. Had I been able to be myself, I probably would not have had anxiety. I often had pain in my body because I just felt that I was not fit. I had eating disorders when I was 5-6 years old, I couldn't eat in established environments. I still have problems with, white tablecloths and all that.
Blue has always been part of all travel, parties, jobs. She has never taken all the attention in the room. I have a little difficulty when children come and take all attention and attention all the time. We have talked about it and be involved and be involved, but that does not mean that you should take all the attention. It is not natural self -confidence to take all space all the time. She is perceived as very humble and I am happy about that. I have always been told that I am not perceived as humble.
“Blue has always been very mature and open. I have had to work more with being myself, but she is much more natural. She is always herself. There she is a huge inspiration! She makes me so damn happy, because she has such an incredible energy! ”
Teaching their children to be themselves and expressing themselves is not always easy, how have you thought about it?
I tried to put her on different sports, but… people put such pressure on their children, especially people who are very good at something themselves put super high requirements on their children. It was probably the most moms in New York that I interacted with, I was probably a bit unique who went there with Blue as a dad. I have always felt that that elite thinking is stupid. I have not attended elite school, but it went well anyway.
Now she is looking for different schools, and she does so on her own, she could have done what she wants, but she goes her own way. She has grown up in fashion, but is anti -fashion. I don't know if it's a protest, but I choose to see it as she has found her own aesthetics and chosen her own way.
I have never tried to put pressure, but you do as a parent regardless. Blue says type Come on you have it by just existing. After all, I have always drawn attention to strong women who take their place and have drive, and I have asked if it is a pressure. She can partially agree with that.
Was your relationship changed after the separation from Blue's mother?
We separated when she was nine years old. After the separation, we got even closer. Marcella took the initiative for the separation, which I understand when I only worked all the time. She needed to get away, so Blue and I rented a house in Montauk and lived in a surf community. It was a very intense period for us where we got even closer. It was a lot she and I, and the time there laid the foundation for our lives together.
What was the biggest challenge for you to go from a nuclear family to being a lone dad?
I was a damn heartbro myself, and I really didn't want to transfer it to Blue. The first thing she said was that she thought it was her fault that it ended. I am a sensitive person so I really got to sharpen myself and try to be steady for her. I think it was a great rescue that I found BLK DNM as a project and Montauk at about the same time. I had decided to start a new brand and become the best dad ever. It was a good period from something that was so hard. Blues childhood friends are from that period. She got a second family from our community up there. She had to grow up in a collective instead and it was something nice of a super -tricky situation. At least it became my best period in life. It also became almost a little difficult for her mother that we were so close. Blue and I also became friends there. Now I do not know how much dad I am anymore, but we are very awesome friends.
How does your friendship express?
I'm friends with her friends, we're all out together. It creates a closeness. We have been to Fashion Week all over the world. In our relationship there is no categorization that may be found in Sweden. I have never divided it in that now it is adult time, now it is child time. You should be able to be a child in an adult room, I think. In New York, no one thinks about age. In Sweden, everything is very age categorized, I have tried to work away in our relationship.
I have a hard time talking to children with a voice. But we like that in Sweden role -playing. I generally believe that it is difficult to be relaxed in Sweden.
“In Sweden, everything is very age categorized, I have tried to work away in our relationship. I have a hard time talking to children with a voice. But we like that in Sweden role -playing. I generally believe that it is difficult to be relaxed in Sweden. "
How do you want to talk about emotions with your daughter?
We have had a pod together and talked a lot about different things. When it comes to emotions, we are very open. She has always been so wise. When I went through a Heartbreak a few years ago, it was Blue that gave advice. She has always been very mature and open. I have had to work more with being myself, but she is much more natural. She is always herself. There she is a huge inspiration!
She makes me so damn happy, because she has such an incredible energy! She has never ever complained about a single thing. I have complained all my life, but not her. Most people in her age complain all the time, but not she. She is more in balance. She fixes things herself. I have never helped her with homework or so, she has solved it.
She simply has a force, charisma and presence.
On the card "I" from emotional card 1- "I in me" is the question "What feeling would you like to share with you more of?" How would you answer?
When I feel like I'm really connected with my intention. The driving force that comes from within is so special for some reason. It is probably a creative energy, I would like to share it most. With it I can create environments together with others where we in turn create new environments. When I am myself, that feeling can come out. It requires courage, because people are too cowardly. Blue has it!
What would you like to give to the Bonki parents?
It's all about having to make the children as much themselves as possible. You have to get this inner power out of, you have to encourage it and trigger the unique that exists within one. If you get the power to get really clean, you do not need so many rules. It will be a much calmer and cleaner person. Everything is about getting the unique in each individual. I think parents are generally too bad at that.