Surely the headline sounds obvious? The other day I heard/read the question "Don't you want your children to learn to be polite?" In some context and came to think that what sounds obvious may not always be. How we do can sit pretty hard.
Admittedly, I do not think that many parents today have courtesy who, as well as self -purpose for the children, but my thoughts here still assume that it sometimes still seems to be more polite than saying stops.
To begin with: What do we mean when we talk about polite?
Because I don't want my kids to be anything “For the sake of it” or to show others that as a parent I have managed to teach them a number of skills. Most people can learn that talent (but at what price). Those I know who had the most pressure to sit straight, eat nicely, take in hand, etc. as a child, admittedly the task gallantly when they had "eyes on them", but were also those who were absolutely out of control and messy in others room..Have you really taught the children something about how to behave with other people then (because that was the purpose.)?
Currently with a good example is the only way, I think.I say thank you when I get served food at a dinner, I ask if I can help someone who seems to need it, I open the door to someone who can't..and all that. And I do it because I want to, not to show.I do not throw food at people at a restaurant, I respect different ways, cultures and contexts but sometimes I talk with food in my mouth or sit half up on a chair.
I think I thus learn (or show!) The children to be human (with all that it means) and hopefully feel for that thank you, eye for when help is needed and the ability to get into the position of others and therefore see it as obvious to open that door.
Based on that, I am sure they can move around the world, in different contexts and feel right and wrong. Thank you and help from the heart but also say stop/now I get up and go or ask someone to hell from my heart. Too hard -headed courtesy can probably dampen that heart quite a lot.