My 9-year-old comes into the room and blurts out with tears all over her face "mommy I have so many feelings". She has been sad on and off for an hour or so, angry as well. One of those afternoons where everything went a little wrong. Combined with fatigue, it took over and the crying doesn't really stop. She doesn't know why she's sad anymore, but today's feelings probably just needed to get out. Everything became a little too much and maybe the tears were a release. We probably all know how that feels.
We talk a lot about feelings at home (I have no choice, I'm an emotional person) and I want to think the kids know that all feelings are okay. That they have space to express what they feel and that it will hopefully give them wisdom about their own feelings and the ability to listen to them. And with that being able to set boundaries, say no, say yes (with the heart) and trust that what they feel is true.
Then I make a lot of mistakes too. Like everyone. Says "stop crying, now we have to go" even though maybe it's not really that urgent and all those things that adults do. Due to stress, due to habit, due to yes..ourselves. We adults have so much on us all the time. Other things don't always fit and sometimes we just see obstacles and frantically try to press a button to make everyone just shut up. Shut up until Even though we know the button doesn't even exist.
In all of this – the wise, the sensible, the understanding, the humble, the loving, the empathetic, and the contentious, the sharp, the contradictory, the turbulent, the stormy, the upside-down, we all try to raise children. (Guida is probably a better word!) And we know that if we succeed in giving the little lives at least small streaks of faith that their own world, their own experiences are true - worth believing in and living by, then increases the chance significantly that they will enter the oh-so-crazy adult world and do good—to themselves and to others.
But life rolls on and what do we have time for, what can we bear? Not everything always, of course, but what can we bear and above all - what do we want? We love them beyond words and we want to give them everything. But what do we want?
I think that in a world that speaks a language that is actually quite far from us humans, we have to get up every morning and at least try to do a little better. It's not about not making mistakes, not tripping and treading crookedly. It's just about cultivating where we stand. Planting seeds, trying to remember to water properly for different flowers and all that. Because no matter how we turn things inside out, concepts, pedagogy, approaches and methods, without children who believe in themselves and trust that gut feeling, know when it's wrong and dare to scream, dare to laugh, love and follows its path (even if everyone else runs in the opposite direction) the world continues to be as cold as we all nod in agreement that it is enough.
Making the world a little kinder is not particularly difficult. Not an achievement worthy of medals and diplomas. And even though I'm not very good at counting, it almost sounds like mathematics when I say: show the children feelings, talk about what they feel. Let feelings exist and don't erase the troublesome. Only in the acceptance of all feelings can we truly feel. If we create opportunities to feel and express what is felt for as many little people as possible, then the chance that the world will become a little kinder increases. Because those little people then become big people and big people can make a lot of mistakes. Surely together with our children we can counteract it? (Otherwise we can't really complain!)
Our emotion cards are a nice tool on the road to emotional consciousness. Read more HERE
