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How we talk matters

Appearance is a large and difficult subject. How we talk, at home, with others, with ourselves and with our children play a role. Have you thought about how you talk, for example, when trying clothes in a test cabin in the store? The children hear and take on our way of judging, ourselves and others. If we talk down our appearance, we show that it is important to be nice. It is not easy to do everyone right all the time, but a list to remind us of how much we can actually influence in different directions can be good to have:
  • Never comment weight. Not that they/you/someone else have gained and have not lost weight either. We must understand that we comment on what we consider to be superficially positive, we say in the same breath that there is an opposite that is not desirable. Therefore, even what we may think is a compliment easily toxic.
  • Don't talk badly about your own body. Instead, try saying that you feel nice and that you are radiating because you are doing well and feel strong. Talk about everything the body can do! Teach your child to take in without being afraid of dirt. Think of everything a body can do and underline it.
  • Don't talk badly about the appearance of others or about someone's body. Go to a sauna together. Or nude bath if it works. There, bodies are neutralized and the usual focus we have on nudity (that it should please others) does not exist in the same way. Staying in environments where the sexualized aspect is gone hopefully contributes to a healthier way of looking at itself.
  • Do not count calories high and do not talk about food as something that should be avoided. Discover new exciting food together. A healthy view of food is built by food interest, knowledge and above all - enjoyment. Not by bad conscience and calculations.
  • Clothes can, for example, Be nice, fun, cool or comfortable on the body. They don't have to be flattering. There is nothing perfect or wrong when it comes to our bodies, which statements that "flattering" and "unflattering" indicate. When you comment on children's clothes - praise the clothes itself, not how the body looks in them.
  • For many adults, the exercise revolves around losing weight and shaping the body. Underline well -being as training contributes to instead. Be careful about how you talk about it - children perceive more than we think. Talk about exercise in terms of health, entertainment and benefit, not appearance and weight or target images.
  • Criticism of the body begins early. It can be a comment from a friend, it can be a celebrity it is talked about because of beauty or another that is nerve -wrapped because of what they look like. Be the counterbalance in your child's life that raises attributes other than the physical, such as the artist's cool choreographies and creativity. Teach your child that they never have to change and that their value does not decrease because of what someone else says.

Come in and look at our emotional cards. They are a nice support in conversations with children and young people. You will find them HERE