Sommaren kan bli bäst!

Summer can be the best!

Who decides how it should be? Who said it has to be a certain way for it to be good? Where does our idea of what a summer with children should be like come from?

"In today's society, people are almost constantly connected and have high levels of activity, something that today is considered to be the normative behavior. What the word "holiday" is loaded with is different from person to person, but even here there is an unspoken norm that consists of lots of "tables" and "musts". It is easy to only do what you have to and should, even on holiday. I think you should do exactly the opposite.

It is important that you actively make conscious choices and not live by the many ideas that exist about what a successful holiday is like. There are certain "musts" and "haves", but you have to reflect on which ones are most important and eliminate the others. A holiday is an opportunity to indulge in things that make you feel good and give you rest. To find out what it is, you need to reflect on what your everyday life looks like, where you are in life and what needs you have right now.

A vacation often involves expectations, something that should be avoided as much as possible. It can be good not to have too much planned during the summer vacation, but to take most of it as it comes.

- Expectations can be life-threatening. Then you have a picture of how you want things to be, and then you are set for disappointment. Try to be more curious and exploratory instead of being so expectant. The key word in thinking about holidays is to be open to what is and appreciate what is in the present, not how you wish it could be.

"Life is magical in itself," says Elisabeth Serrander, certified existential psychotherapist. (Source:

Why do we go to the image of the "perfect holiday" year after year? Why can't we just relax in the fact that it will probably be fine, however it turns out.. There are of course answers to that question - several even. One of the answers is that we see what everyone else is doing and compare ourselves to them. The problem is that what we see is rarely true, at least not completely true. We know that too, but we still compare ourselves. The image is tight.
When I ask my children, it is not the lavish trip or the cottage by the sea that they mention as "the best memory". It's often the unexpected, what didn't go as planned, what went a little wrong or crazy, when the disappointment subsides after set plans and the whole family lands, becomes calm and accepts the situation. And all the little things in every day, like stopping by the side of the road and picking flowers - things we've done a thousand times before, but which suddenly for some reason became magic right then and there. And became a memory that will probably never disappear. Days of summer leisure have also been included in stories about the best memories.

I'm convinced that we adults put a lot of pressure on ourselves that shouldn't have been there. But it takes a lot from us to succeed in standing up to the pressure. Everything points to the fact that we are failures if we don't do "this or that". But if change is to happen, we just have to be part of creating it! Don't just talk about it.

So go on the trip and plan exciting activities if you want and can, but don't feel bad about the opposite. Life happens here and now and all the time, not in a special place booked at a special time.

Sometimes we need help along the way in the conversations with the children. Our emotion cards are a perfect tool for anyone who lives and works with children. Look HERE