Who decides how it should be? Who has said that it must be in a certain way for it to be good? Where does our perception come from what a summer with children should be?
“In today's society, people are almost constantly connected and have high levels of activity, which today is considered the normative behavior. What the word "holiday" is loaded with is different from person to person, but here too there is an unspoken norm consisting of lots of "tables" and "must". It is easy to just do what you have to and should even on holiday. I think you should do just the opposite.
It is important to make actively conscious choices and not live by the many ideas that exist about how a successful holiday is. Some "must" and the "tables" are there, but you have to reflect on which ones are most important and choose the others. A holiday is an opportunity to devote yourself to things you feel good and give rest. To find out what it is, you need to reflect on what your everyday lives look like, where you are in life and what needs exist right now.
A holiday often means expectations, something that should be avoided as far as possible. It can be good not to have too much planned during the summer leave but take most of it as it comes.
- Expectations can be fatal. Then you have a picture of how you want things to be and then it is bedded for you to be disappointed. Try to be more curious and explorative instead of being so expectant. The key word in thinking about vacation is to be open to what is and appreciate what is in the present, not how you wished it could be.
- Life is magical in itself, "says Elisabeth Serrander, legitimate existential psychotherapist. (Source: Varden.se)
Why do we go year after year in the picture of "the perfect holiday"? Why can't we just relax in that it will probably be good, whatever it will be .. There is of course answers to that question - several pieces even. One of the answers is that we see what everyone else does and compares ourselves with them. The only problem is that what we see quite rarely is true, at least not entirely true. We know that too, but nevertheless we compare ourselves. The picture sits hard.
When I ask my children, it is not the lavish trip or cottage by the sea they mention as "the best memory". It is often the unexpected, what did not turn out as planned, what got a little wrong or crazy, when the disappointment has settled for canceled plans and the whole family lands, becomes calm and accepts the situation. And all the little things in every day, like stopping by the road and picking flowers - what we have done a thousand times before, but which suddenly for some reason became magic there and then. And became a memory that will probably never disappear. Days of summer leisure have also been included in stories about the best memories.
I am convinced that we adults put a lot of pressure on ourselves who had not had to exist. But it takes a lot of us to succeed in resisting the press. Everything indicates that we are unsuccessful if we do not do "say or so". But if change is to happen, we just have to be part of the creation of it! Don't just talk about it.
So go on the trip and plan exciting activities if you want and can, but do not have a bad conscience for the opposite. Life is happening here and now and all the time, not in a special place booked a special time.
Sometimes we need help along the way in conversations with the children. Our emotional cards are a perfect tool for anyone who lives and works with children. Look HERE