Children's holiday! Spring and summer means a great deal of pressure for many families with children! Getting with everything that happens, taking on all summer planning and at the same time being happy and happy is not a simple equation.
Summer approaches and with it - summer planning
As spring feels like it has decided to stay, approaching summer, stress for the holiday (children's vacation!) And everything suddenly goes a little faster. Easter has been over for a while and beautiful May has made an entrance.
Maybe we look at May and everything that is to come with joy and hope. Feeling some stress and pressure that everything is to be perfect, is probably not uncommon .. But what is "perfect"? Is the recipe we are looking for and is it really where we should put the energy? Let's start by talking a little about this time of year. What does spring come with and what is expected of us?
If I myself look back on May/June previous years (with children) come some thoughts to me: Planned children's activities such as picnics, school events, spring parties, feasts, endings and shows, gifts for teachers (and more), barbecue evenings, more jobs than usual So that it becomes easier to be a little free during the summer late, and more and more .. In addition, summer planning should be laid and the mood should be on top. In both children and adults ..
Not much of this sounds really boring, but there are some to talk about here. Above all: Which competition are we trying to win? And: Although "party" and the like may sound nice to most, it (and everything else) actually comes with pretty hard feelings for many. It may be due to stress before the holidays (not catch everything and thus just feel that you have to "bend" things that are basically fun), social anxiety (is probably more common than we think - it is not automatically fun to go on Party three days a week for everyone - many people get anxiety of just that), and of course - economics (who can afford all the festivities and outbursts, all presents and everything else, when summer is also glad and not directly the cheapest part of the year…)
Care Pression - Stress and Holidays
Another factor that affects many is care depression. About 15 percent of the population is adversely affected by the seasonal changes around spring and autumn. “When you talk about care depression, you mean this large group that gets tired, feels mushy and a little depressed during spring and autumn. It is a somewhat diffuse illness and there are no clear diagnostic criteria, ”says Torbjörn Åkerstedt, senior professor in clinical neuroscience at the Karolinska Institute. (Source: wellness.se)
Summer depression has also become a concept and there are slightly different reasons why we can be affected:
- A feeling that one should be happy
You don't allow yourself to feel down, empty or sad in the summer. You think you should have a good time and be happy all the time.
It may make you start thinking about the reasons why you don't feel happy. "What's wrong with me really?" The focus is moving inward on negative emotions, and you may notice that the world feels a little distant. To ponder and turn your attention inward towards yourself and your feeling creates a sense of emptiness and meaninglessness. You are not present in what is happening around you. It makes it difficult to feel good. These feelings provide a breeding ground for even more pondering and a vicious circle has been started.
- Summer provides space and space for pondering
For many who suffer from anxiety, obsessions and depression, summer is difficult. One of the reasons for this is that most people have much more time to think, and it is not as much as about one that distracts one from the thoughts.
Concern, compulsive aging and negative thoughts get the chance to take over. You have every opportunity in the world to stay inside and let life pass by even if it is not what you really want or want. Over -thinking and pondering are one of the biggest causes of depression, and can lead you into evil circles that can be difficult to turn on your own.
Summer must be fully utilized! This is a setting many have. "How should I get the most possible out of this bright time?" "How can I optimize the holiday?" This kind of thinking creates a feeling of stress and irritability: "I should be somewhere else" "I might have to do something other than what I do right now". You get the feeling that summer is rushing past without having used it to the max for enjoyment and relaxation. We call this summer-fomo, which means you can't enjoy your life where you are actually but feel stressed and absent mentally.
- You compare yourself to others
In the summer, there are many opportunities to compare yourself to others. You compare yourself to all the smiling people you see on the street, in the newspapers and on TV. They seem to feel much better than you .. With the help of social media you can devote yourself to comparing yourself with others without even having to leave your home. You get other people's perfect lives and bodies into the living room. Maybe even in bed before you even got up in the morning. You see colleagues, friends, acquaintances and strangers enjoy the summer on the beach and in the mountains, while your summer may be characterized by everyday lunk. Even if you have an active holiday with leisure activities and beach life, there are still people who are on a finer beach and are even more active. If you compare yourself with others, you will automatically feel worse. Comparison is one of the safest ways to elicit dissatisfaction and a feeling of not being good enough.
- You tremble for the summer
If you have previously felt bad in the summer, it may be easy to start worrying about it when approaching. "I tremble for the summer," says many of the people we talk to. If you expect summer to be tough, you will be more attentive to hard and heavy feelings. Maybe you start to feel more about how you feel inside. When you turn your attention inward, it is also easier to notice negative emotions. When you notice them, expectations are met. It can create a vicious circle of inner focus, that you withdraw socially and ponder the reasons why you are not happy and feel good. (source: https://www.metakognitiv-terapi.se/)
Feeling a pressure to "manage everything" and "catch everything" is not so strange, there is much expected of us. But who is expectations and can we practice saying no when we feel that it is the wise choice right then? And perhaps the most bad conscience: will the children be sad if they are not (for different reasons) can participate in everything? Is a child holiday a must or can it be good (better?) Without all hysterical summer planning and stress for holidays?
It is so very easy to think that it will be different this year. Often we just keep up! I want to feedback to point one in the list above. To push away what we feel, because "everyone else ..." or "I should be happy!" etc, is probably what is removing the present and the real emotions the most! To allow yourself and dare to feel the emotions that come is (I think!) One of the most important and biggest investments we can make in ourselves. I highly recommend you to look at our fine emotional cards. click here And take spring and summer and become a more emotional family!