Learn from their mistakes
Failure is a natural part of life. Whether it is about not passing a test, missing a football match, or not being able to do a task we have taken on, it is something that we all experience sometimes. Hopefully one of his mistakes will learn. But how does it really affect us and why do people react differently when they fail?
From a psychological perspective, failures are not always negative. It can have a function and contribute to our personal and psychological development. Failure can be a path to learning and development, as it gives us the opportunity to reflect on what went wrong, identify areas that can be improved and find new ways to deal with similar situations in the future. It can also help us develop self -insight and increased awareness of our strengths and weaknesses. One learn from their mistakes!
How we react to failures varies from person to person. Some people get embarrassed to try again when they fail - others give up immediately. According to psychologist Carol Dweck's research, there are two different ways of thinking we can have about failing: "Dynamic way of thinking" or "fixed way of thinking". This is what affects how we interpret failures and how we handle them.
According to Dweck, those who have a "dynamic way of thinking" sees failure as an opportunity to learn and improve themselves. They believe that their abilities and potential can develop through effort and learning, and that failures are a natural part of that process. When they fail , they interpret it as a temporary hardship and make another attempt to continue to fight to reach their goals. Again: learn from their mistakes.
Dweck believes that with a "firm way of thinking" they have a belief that abilities are static and unchanging. They believe that failures are an indication of their lack of abilities and that the situation will not be improved by effort. When they fail, they interpret it as a defeat and give up to avoid feeling unsuccessful and confirm the perception of their own limitations.
Afraid to fail
So, is it psychologically bad to fail? The answer is no, not always. Failures can be an important part of the trip, especially if we have a "dynamic way of thinking". Research shows that the attitude and attitude we have towards failure can affect our emotional and psychological well -being. Having a "dynamic way of thinking" can help us be More motivated, patient and willing to learn from our mistakes, which can lead to an increased ability to manage and overcome adversities.
Don't be afraid to fail!
However, it is also important to understand that failures can affect us in different ways and that it is perfectly normal to feel negative emotions such as sadness, disappointment, anger or fear when we fail. It is important to allow ourselves to know these feelings and to manage them in a healthy way. Denying or ignoring the emotions can cause them to be suppressed and it can affect our well -being in the long term.
Here are some tips on how to talk to children about failures (based on psychological research):
Highlight the importance of trying and learning: Focus on the process rather than the result. Emphasize that it is important to try and that failures are a natural part of learning.
View Empathy and Support: Be responsive to the child's feelings when they fail and show understanding and empathy. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and give them support and comfort. Show that you believe in their ability to manage adversity and that they are more than their failures.
Avoid putting pressure or criticizing: Avoid using negatively charged words or criticizing the child when they fail. It can increase their fear of failing again and create negative self -image. Instead, focus on encouraging and supporting their efforts and progress.
Teach them to deal with their feelings: Help children develop skills to manage their feelings about failure. It may be finding ways to relax and manage stress. It is important that they learn that it is okay to feel disappointed or sad, but that with support they get help to handle the emotions.
Promote a positive self -image: Help children understand that failures do not define them as persons. It is important to promote a positive self -image and emphasize that their value is not linked to their performance. Encourage them to focus on their strengths and progress.
Be a role model: As a parent you are an important role model for your child. Show how you handle failures in a positive way by being open about your own mistakes and how to learn from them. This way you can show to your child that failures are part of life and that it is possible to handle them in a constructive way.
Promote a culture of permissive and acceptance: Create an environment where it is okay to fail and where your child feels that they can be open and honest about their mistakes without feeling shame or fear of being judged. By promoting a culture of permissive and acceptance, you can help your child feel safe and to explore and learn without being afraid of failure.
It is also important to distinguish between failing with something and feeling unsuccessful as a person. Failures are temporary events and part of life's learning process, while feeling unsuccessful can be a deeper feeling of not being sufficient as a person. It is important to understand that we all fail at times and that it does not make us unsuccessful people. Distinguishing between these two concepts can help children deal with failures in a more constructive way and avoid internalizing failure as part of the self -image.
New research findings have shown that there is a link between the brain's reward system and our behavior after failure. Studies have shown that there is increased activity in the brain's reward system after failure, which can affect our motivation and willingness to try again. This increased activity in the brain's reward system may be a reason why some people are embarrassed to try again after a failure, while others may feel a reduced motivation.
Another factor that can affect how we react to failure is our cognitive ability to deal with negative emotions and thoughts. People who have a more positive self -image and a stronger self -regulation are more likely to deal with failures in a constructive way. They can reflect on what they can learn from the failure and how they can improve their future attempts, instead of letting it affect their self -image negatively.
It is important to deal with failures in a supportive and constructive way, both for ourselves and when we talk to children about them. By emphasizing learning, process and effort and by showing empathy, encouragement and support, we can help children and ourselves to see failures as a natural part of life and an opportunity to grow and develop.
Talking about emotions helps children become aware of their feelings and be able to express them. Our emotional cards are a nice little tool on the journey towards emotional intelligence. You will find them HERE