Of course, there is a lot you do in your parenting which, like "just becomes". For all natural reasons of course - we can not be 100% active in every part of life. I think of things like screen time, sweets only on Saturdays, time for laying etc. often (and sometimes rarely ..) it will be good (as planned), other times just it will be. I think that is good! Showing the children that "rules" must be followed slavishly is probably no good lesson in itself - at least as important to show that rules can be rewritten when needed, rules may need to be changed and that we humans are flexible and can make their own decisions.
Then there are those slightly bigger things..while it is good to regularly talk to yourself and others about. Where it does not necessarily "arrange" only we adults have good values and good intentions. Where active choices (maybe daily) need to be made.
There are, of course, many examples of what should not be left to chance.
One thing I have been thinking about (as the mother of girls ..) is what parents and adults for boys do actively for the boys to grow up to wise, stable men.
For no matter how we turn and turn it, around 90% of all violent crimes and murder by men and most women who are murdered (or vulnerable) are made by a man they have or have had a relationship with."Boys will be boys" mentality is still so accepted today to raise the eyebrows when a boy goes ahead in the queue at the slide or takes over a play in the school yard.
But the tolerance for the "busy" creates room for the same attitude later in life - when it is not a game anymore.
I really have no answers and certainly children should get busy! Childhood is for bus!How do we let them do it with the awareness that the school yard will be replaced by a workplace? The somewhat fun borderless buddy relationship that is small replaced with a love relationship with (possibly) a woman ..?
I think active choices are required. Not just confidence that if you have a nice family situation, it will be good. Not many parents think the idea straight out: "Boys should take more space than girls".
But is that what we convey ..?
I teach my girls to say stop when someone goes ahead in the queue. I teach them that their place is as obvious as a boy. What do you teach your children? What are you talking about?
