By: Ida Welbourn
Leg. Psychologist & Leg. psychotherapist
All people, children as adults, need confirmation that we are seen, heard and important. For children, it is especially important for their development of them as people, their self -esteem and empathy.
Self -esteem, respect and security: Listening to their child makes the child feel seen as an individual and fellow human being, makes it feel respected and included, which strengthens the child's security and sense of community. A child who is listened to develops his personality by being confirmed and mirrored, gets words and a sense of who it is, their qualities, interests and what it likes/does not like.
Understanding and language development: Listening to their child becomes golden opportunities to develop the child's stories with follow -up questions, interest and curiosity in the child's experiences and to help the child put words into feelings and qualities that develop the child's understanding for himself and other people.
Communication and compassion: When you listen to your child you are a role model for social and empathic abilities and you will learn that the basics of human interaction and communication, for example not to cancel, to wait for their turn, to talk to the point, to be able to express themselves Own way, to have different perceptions and opinions. The younger child learns to take a look, ie to be listened to and to listen yourself, which is an important social ability.
Why is it important to listen to your child? It will be easy to understand if we look at the opposite: children who do not feel listened to feel not seen, they feel unimportant, prioritized and uninteresting and they then get a bad idea of themselves, low self -esteem, can be overly silent or Noisy because they do not know the rules of the game for conversations or do not have experience of being taken seriously. Imagine yourself as an adult what it is like to talk to a close friend who is constantly watching his mobile, seems to think of something else or just talking about himself. The difference is that you as an adult can tell this to the friend or decide not to keep up with this so often, while children do not have this choice but are extradited and dependent on their adults listening and being present.
Too slightly older children and teens: Listening to your child/teenager allows you to capture information that the child wants to tell you to gain insight into the child's life and to be able to follow it up. A child who tells something important that is not followed up, for example "how did it go with the friend/test/training" etc after describing something of this as problematic or difficult can feel unimportant or forgotten, and over time even give up that even try.
Take the help of our emotional cards in conversations with children and young people. You will find them HERE
